Gift Receipt

Getting older is not as fun as I thought it was when I was younger. When I was little, all I wanted to be was older than I was. I had such big dreams, and they just could not come true at my current age. When I was six, I could not wait to be 10; double digits. At 10, I wanted to be 13, a teenager. At 13 all I could think of was being 16 and allowed to drive. And so on it went.

I loved birthdays back then; could not wait to celebrate them. Had fun parties and invited all my friends. The more the merrier. Had lots of delicious cake. These days I’m fine if my birthday passes with little fanfare or notice. I tell myself I don’t want to impose on people; don’t need to be the center of all that attention. Now, I am not celebrating a wonderful new milestone with all its attendant potential; I am celebrating the fact that I survived another year. The truth is is that with every passing anniversary of my birth I am reminded that I am getting too old for my dreams to come true.

I had a birthday a few weeks ago, and this year was no different than the previous few. I wanted no party, no gifts, just a quite dinner with a friend or two and then get on with life. And that was my plan. I was very adamant about it. My partner wanted very much to do something for me. Friends asked me if they could get together with me. Family wanted to take me to dinner and celebrate. I wanted none of it.

Have you ever noticed that of all the things we know about Jesus, never once in scripture do we see Him celebrate His birthday? We do of course, every December 25th, but He never did. We never read about Mary baking Him a special treat to celebrate when He was a boy; the disciples never take Him out for a celebratory meal. We know He has birthdays because we see Him grow from a baby into a man, but the time is never marked by a celebration. I wonder why?

Jesus was here to spread His message about love. He was here to teach us how to love each other. And He was here to teach us how to receive love from others. That last lesson is a lot harder than it sounds. But it just may be the most important lesson of all.

It is a fact that we cannot give away what we do not have. No matter what the object or thing is, if we do not first possess it, we cannot pass it on to someone else. And that is especially true of love. We love, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) If we don’t receive love, we will never know love and will never be able to give ours away.

We keep love at bay because we believe we don’t need it. Are not worthy of it. Have plenty of it. Fear losing it. Fear getting hurt by it. Fear falling short of it. None of that is true. We need love like we need the rain. It nourishes our souls and truly does make the world go around. We cannot live without it. Jesus staked His life on that lesson. He gave us the precious gift of love, and our job is to receive His gift. But receipt can be hard.

While it was against my better judgment, I relented. I said yes to the birthday party with friends. I said yes to the family dinner. I said yes to the celebrations. What I didn’t realize was, I was really saying yes to love. Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

The impromptu party with friends was so good for my spirit. I saw friends I had not seen in ages. We laughed and told stories and it felt like times of old. The dinner with my family was nourishing and rich. We connected and embraced and I felt I belonged. Celebrations at work were light hearted and took everyone’s attention away from the drudgery of the day. A weekend away with my partner and cousin’s family to the Texas hill country was a hoot! I have not laughed that hard and that freely in a long time. Allowing myself to relax and receive the love offered to me that week was difficult but it was a gift my Heavenly Father insisted I open and celebrate.

It turns out that getting older just might be better now than when I was little. I am not too old for birthday cake. I am not too old for parties. And I am not too old for my dreams to come true. Because I am not too old for love. Love is a gift, and it gets better as it ages. It is a gift that the Giver insists we celebrate.

Jesus didn’t celebrate His birthday, He came to celebrate ours.
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