'Tis The Season To Receive

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

During this time of Black Friday madness and Christmas shopping craziness, let's remember we have already been given the most precious gift of all. Sometimes, it is better to receive.

I hope you receive God's love during this Christmas season, and wrap it into every gift you give.
~

Drought Conditions

Texas needs rain. Texas has never needed rain this badly before in the four decades that I have been alive. Everything is dying; our crops, our cattle, our lawns, our lakes and rivers, and our trees. Oh my, how the trees are dying; looks like winter in New England around here they are so golden and brown. It would be beautiful if it were not so sad.

The people charged with knowing such things tell us that the drought could last through next summer. Next summer, and we are barely finished with this one. I don’t know if I will last through it, I know my lawn will not. But I am reminded that we Texans are a hardy lot, we’ve been through worse before, and when I say “we”, I don’t mean me.

But I do mean my paternal grandfather. He grew up in a Texas drought like this, in fact, he grew up in one much, much worse. My grandfather was raised just after the turn of the last century in the panhandle of Texas, a dusty, solitary place populated mostly by cattle, cash crops and cowboys. He lived in an area known as the High Plains, in a town called Dalhart.

The High Plains experienced one of the deepest and most enduring droughts of the twentieth century. It became affectionately known as the Dust Bowl due to the almost daily terrific dust storms that covered everything inside and out with blackness and dirt. The dust storms killed everything – crops, livestock and livelihoods. It turned everything into tumbleweeds and dry, faceless prairies. What is more is that the dust bowl occurred at the same time the Great Depression was griping the country. The Dust Bowl lasted more than five years.

Much has been written about that time and the people who endured it. In fact, my grandfather wrote one such book, High Plains Yesterdays. I read his book and the other accounts of the time and I am amazed at what those people were able to endure. Many people did not survive and many people simply fled the area but some, like my great-grandparents, stayed hoping to see better days. They somehow woke up everyday believing that was the day the drought buster would come.

While the physical drought I am currently enduring in my state is not as difficult or as sustained as the one my grandfather and his parents endured, I am experiencing another type of drought which is as long and as deep. And it is taking all my courage and endurance to get through it. We all experience such droughts. Time periods in our lives where we are working towards a goal and it seems like nothing is happening. We are getting nowhere, accomplishing nothing and we are bearing no fruit. It all just seems dead, dusty and a lost cause. What we need is a drought buster.

That’s what the man at the sheep pool needed. (John 5:2-9) Once a year an angel of the Lord’s went to the pool and stirred the waters, the first person into the pool was healed of whatever ailed them. The man was sick and had lain by the pool for 38 years. For 38 years someone else had always beat him into the pool. When Jesus came upon him, He already knew what ailed the man but He asked the man if he wanted to get well. The man answered by saying he had no one to put him into the pool when the water is stirred up. Jesus told him to get up, pack up his bedroll and walk. Right there, Jesus busted the man’s drought.

Now, several things get my attention in this story. First, 38 years is a really long time to wait for something, yet Jesus still asked the man if he wanted to get well. Second, Jesus already knew what was ailing the man. Lastly, Jesus told the man to take his bed with him, because he was healed and would never need to pass this way again.

The man was tested and had to endure a long period of drought before he got what he wanted. I think that’s how God still handles us. Hopefully, our testing and drought won’t take 38 years, but we will be tested and it will be dry, very dry. During the dry seasons, we can be assured that God knows what is ailing us and He knows what we want. We don't see God but He is there and He is with us. And once God breaks our drought we will have endured testing that we will never have to endure again.

We strive for our dreams, make plans, set goals, but before they can come to fruition God puts us through a period of testing to see that we really want what we say we want. God knows us well, He knows our minds and tastes change and if we are to fulfill the plans of our lives we have to be prepared for them. Enduring droughts has a way of strenghtening a person and helping them succeed at what comes next. Just ask the citizens of the High Plains.

The people of the Panhandle were tested mightily but they endured. Those that stayed were stronger and better for having gone through the dust bowl days. They were prepared for whatever life threw at them next. Their drought busting rain did eventually fall. Our job is to do what they did, wake up everyday with courage and faith believing that today is the day we will see our drought busting rain. When it does finally rain, and rest assured it will rain, we will be prepared for whatever lays in store.

Start packing up your bedroll, I see a storm cloud on the horizon.
~

Gift Receipt

Getting older is not as fun as I thought it was when I was younger. When I was little, all I wanted to be was older than I was. I had such big dreams, and they just could not come true at my current age. When I was six, I could not wait to be 10; double digits. At 10, I wanted to be 13, a teenager. At 13 all I could think of was being 16 and allowed to drive. And so on it went.

I loved birthdays back then; could not wait to celebrate them. Had fun parties and invited all my friends. The more the merrier. Had lots of delicious cake. These days I’m fine if my birthday passes with little fanfare or notice. I tell myself I don’t want to impose on people; don’t need to be the center of all that attention. Now, I am not celebrating a wonderful new milestone with all its attendant potential; I am celebrating the fact that I survived another year. The truth is is that with every passing anniversary of my birth I am reminded that I am getting too old for my dreams to come true.

I had a birthday a few weeks ago, and this year was no different than the previous few. I wanted no party, no gifts, just a quite dinner with a friend or two and then get on with life. And that was my plan. I was very adamant about it. My partner wanted very much to do something for me. Friends asked me if they could get together with me. Family wanted to take me to dinner and celebrate. I wanted none of it.

Have you ever noticed that of all the things we know about Jesus, never once in scripture do we see Him celebrate His birthday? We do of course, every December 25th, but He never did. We never read about Mary baking Him a special treat to celebrate when He was a boy; the disciples never take Him out for a celebratory meal. We know He has birthdays because we see Him grow from a baby into a man, but the time is never marked by a celebration. I wonder why?

Jesus was here to spread His message about love. He was here to teach us how to love each other. And He was here to teach us how to receive love from others. That last lesson is a lot harder than it sounds. But it just may be the most important lesson of all.

It is a fact that we cannot give away what we do not have. No matter what the object or thing is, if we do not first possess it, we cannot pass it on to someone else. And that is especially true of love. We love, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) If we don’t receive love, we will never know love and will never be able to give ours away.

We keep love at bay because we believe we don’t need it. Are not worthy of it. Have plenty of it. Fear losing it. Fear getting hurt by it. Fear falling short of it. None of that is true. We need love like we need the rain. It nourishes our souls and truly does make the world go around. We cannot live without it. Jesus staked His life on that lesson. He gave us the precious gift of love, and our job is to receive His gift. But receipt can be hard.

While it was against my better judgment, I relented. I said yes to the birthday party with friends. I said yes to the family dinner. I said yes to the celebrations. What I didn’t realize was, I was really saying yes to love. Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

The impromptu party with friends was so good for my spirit. I saw friends I had not seen in ages. We laughed and told stories and it felt like times of old. The dinner with my family was nourishing and rich. We connected and embraced and I felt I belonged. Celebrations at work were light hearted and took everyone’s attention away from the drudgery of the day. A weekend away with my partner and cousin’s family to the Texas hill country was a hoot! I have not laughed that hard and that freely in a long time. Allowing myself to relax and receive the love offered to me that week was difficult but it was a gift my Heavenly Father insisted I open and celebrate.

It turns out that getting older just might be better now than when I was little. I am not too old for birthday cake. I am not too old for parties. And I am not too old for my dreams to come true. Because I am not too old for love. Love is a gift, and it gets better as it ages. It is a gift that the Giver insists we celebrate.

Jesus didn’t celebrate His birthday, He came to celebrate ours.
~

Its a Family Matter

To date, I have not been “blessed with children,” as they say. At least it would appear that way to the casual observer. On closer inspection I have more beautiful children than I could ever have dreamed for. I am the proud aunt of three dynamic nieces, and one profoundly adorable nephew with another addition on the way. I love my nieces and nephew. I watch them with the pride and adoration as great as any parent.

They range in age from 18 to 1 year. They are each as different from each other as their fingerprints. I was there for most of their births and they have been an integral part of my life ever since. I have watched them each grow, learn, strive and become the people they are today. All have their full futures before them and I for one cannot wait to be a part of their lives as they journey forward.

My eldest niece loves to play sports, is a beautiful singer and a fashion icon to her friends. She is kind and gentle and has a wonderful laugh that welcomes you in. She is off to college in a year and I know she will light up that campus.

My middle niece is brilliant. She probably doesn't want us to know that, but I have rarely been around someone with such a sharp and quick mind. She is a beautiful pianist like her late grandfather and loves to act in school plays. She is becoming a world class fencer and I hope to watch her win an Olympic gold metal one day soon.

My youngest niece is the mischievous one. The one my brother lets get away with everything. She consumes books like they are oxygen. She is happiest when she is cooking or baking for others and loves making crafts. She makes people feel loved just by her presence.

My nephew, the one-year old, is the charmer. He has a smile that lights up the stars. He loves to “furniture cruise” and explore and get into everything found at knee level. One smile from his dimpled face and my troubles melt away. He is going to make a wonderful big brother to his soon-to-be sibling.

As you can see, if I haven’t bored you completely, I love watching these children grow. While my nieces and nephew were not born to me, they are mine. They are my family. Because I don’t have children of my own, I cannot say this for certain, but I do not think I could love them more if they had been born to me. I would shake the earth to its foundation to protect them. That’s what family does for family.

I think that’s what it must be like for God. He has only One true son, but we are all His children. (John 1:12-13). He has adopted us - we are His and He is ours. We are God’s family.

God was there the day we were born and He will be there when we die. He has watched over us everyday we have taken a breath. He has been with us when we struggle and when we succeed. He has been with us when we celebrate victories and when we suffer crushing defeats. He knows our darkest secrets and He knows our deepest desires.

Like any parent, I think God loves nothing more than watching us and helping us grow into the people we are today. And the people we will become tomorrow. And I know with all certainty, that God loves us as much as He loves His only Son. There is nothing He would not do for us. God will shake more than the foundation of His earth to protect us. In fact, He already did when He sacrificed His Son, our Brother, for us.

That’s what family does for family.
~

Love Song

I love listening to songs on the radio. I almost always have the radio playing when I am driving in the car. When I was a kid I loved listening to the radio with my friends as we would try to be the “25th caller” and win prizes from the DJ. Funny, how every time I seemed to be the 24th caller. And I don’t remember ever falling asleep growing up without setting my alarm clock/radio’s timer and listening to tunes while I drifted to sleep.

Have you ever noticed how there seems to be a song playing somewhere on your radio dial that fits your mood? Whether you are in a fun and festive mood, or a sad and somber mood you will find a song playing that fits. There are songs that transport us to earlier times, songs that inspire and songs that call us to action. But no matter what our individual song style may be, in the songs we love most it is ourselves we find reflected in them. And there is a reason for that.

Most every song on the radio is a song about love. No matter whether the song is country/western, rock and roll, a soft ballad, top-40 or Motown all songs at there core are songs about love. Sometimes the love is overt and apparent and sometimes the love is hidden in the words and music, but the love is there.

If you are like me, you sometimes sing to the radio and imagine you are singing to someone special (or a whole concert hall full of special someones). That’s what love does to us; it makes us want to connect. It draws us closer. It heals our wounds. It inspires us. It comforts us when we are sad. It parties with us when we are joyful. Songs are the threads that tie and bind us. They are as necessary as water.

Now, instead of you singing to someone special, imagine someone special singing your favorite song to you. The next time you hear your favorite song imagine that someone who is completely in love with you is singing. They are singing your song to you, only you and the whole world is listening. Hear the words of love and adoration come from their lips and wrap around you while they tell you how much you are loved and needed. Let that love sink in.

Imagine God is that the special someone singing your favorite song to you. Listen to the words as they come from the speakers and imagine that God is their originator. And He is singing them directly to you. Kind of makes the love bigger, deeper, forever. God is love. There can be no love without God present. There is even a love song in the scriptures. In Song of Solomon, also known as Song of Songs, God uses an entire chapter of the bible to sing to you a love song. God has not stopped singing either. God is love and God loves expressing it.

So, God is there in that rock song from the 70s you love so much. God can be found in the latest tune on the radio. God loves us so very much and He is communicating that to us in a million different ways each and everyday.

And sometimes He does it through the songs on the radio.
~

Nothing Ever Changes

Nothing,
Ever,
Changes;

Immovable,
Immutable,
Invariable;

Unchangeable,
Unalterable,
Unwavering;

Steady,
Stable,
Still;

Constant,
Continual,
Ceaseless;

Nonnegotiable,
Nonadjustable,
Noncancelable;

Nothing,
Ever,
Changes;

His love,
Is,
Forever.
~

Vantage Point

Ahh, Spring is in the air.  I love this time of year.  Everything is new and budding.  The days are longer.  The world seems fresh and alive from its Winter slumber.  Spring means new possibilities around every corner.

Unfortunately, Spring also means cleaning around every corner.  What is it about the Daylight Savings sunlight that tends to highlight the dust and debris in my life.  I like Winter's shadows much better for hiding what I want to avoid - Spring cleaning. 

I thought I kept my personal world pretty tidy but apparently not so much, thank you for pointing this out mother nature.  For example, my yard and garden look somewhat like a war zone.  The harsh winds of Winter were not kind to many of my plants.  It appears that no amount of encouragement is going to bring them back.  They sit there brown and lifeless mocking me and pleading for me to replace them with something beautiful, like flowers.  This I can do and enjoy at the same time.  There is other cleaning beyond my capabilities.

My palm tree is three stories tall.  The cold Winter killed many of its fronds.  Now they hang there dead and lifeless.  The tree needs a thorough pruning but cutting and pruning the tree is far beyond my reach.  My neighbors will just have to deal with the appearance of my raggedy tree.  At least that's how it looks from the sidewalk.

On closer observation, maybe those brown, limp fronds aren't so lifeless after all.  From inside the house I have a different vantage point from which to view the palm tree.  From my third story window I can see into the tree.  And what I see from way up here is life, exciting new life springing forth.

Nestled safely in some of those dead and dying fronds is a dove's nest.  The nest is snug and secure and protected from Spring's high winds and rain.  A mating pair of doves has found the palm tree's strong and tough arms a perfect place to start their family.  None of this is viewable from the street.  The casual observer has no idea what life transformations are taking place high above her head.  To the naked eye, the tree is ugly and in need of attention to make it pretty and useful.  The naked eye can miss so much. 

We live our lives down on the sidewalk, viewing everything through naked eyes.  We don't see things happening in our lives and so we think nothing is happening in our lives.  We miss so much.  But God has a different vantage point.  He sees everything clearly.  He sees the events and changes taking place now that we will only see later.  God knows that just because something looks dead, lifeless and unusable it is far from it.  And a lot of the time, the uglier the better for God.

Take a stroll the the scriptures some time.  Time and time again the people God used were not the ones most people would expect.  He chose the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the lepers, the adulters, the lairs and murders, and the poor, penniless and downtrodden.  If the world didn't want them God and Jesus did.  Because God could see what these people could not.  God could see their hearts, not the hearts they showed to the world, but their true hearts, found inside their inner most being.  And its there God built His nest from which he would bring forth new life into these people. And into you and me. 

My tree looks ugly and lifeless.  But if I were to prune my tree right now I would tear out the dove's home and nest lovingly prepared for new life.  I would stop right in its tracks the plans those dove parents have for their babies.  But because I was given a view from a different vantage point I know that the tree is not lifeless and it is truly far from ugly.  The same can be said for you and me.  Sometimes we see only the ugly and lifeless parts of our lives.  But God can give us a different vantage point from which to observe things; to see the plans He has for us.  He knows things are not what they seem.  He knows that from death, life will spring forth. 

God knows how beautiful we really are.  And that beauty never dies, even when covered in Winter's dirt and debris. 
~

Choose Wisely

I am
not where
               I want
to be.

I am
exactly where
                     God wants
me to be.

I have
         a choice . . .
~

Two-Way Street

The story is as old as time – new kid moves to town, girls instantly like him, guys instantly hate him. He’s rather mysterious, bringing with him new fangled ideas that upset the established order and threaten an age old way of life.

This new fangled idea is so upsetting that it not only turns friends against each other, the fear of it pits family members against one another. Eventually the heat gets turned up, protests are organized, threats are made and ultimatums contemplated. No matter what a citizen’s thoughts are on the matter one thing is certain, win, lose or draw, there will be no going back to the old order of things.

Eventually, a leader rises above the fray and is heard. His heart is heavy, his spirit is torn. He stands for the old way, the way it always has been and was thought always would be. But he is beginning to understand, to see that things change, that perhaps there is room for growth and new ideas.

His question is simple – “If we don’t start trusting our children, how will they ever become trustworthy?”

The question is simple, the answer certainly is not.

Most of you know how the movie ends. The dance goes forward, albeit in the county next door; giving the parents a chance to trust their children and the children a chance to show that they are worthy of that trust.

This storyline is not unique to Hollywood. It is a storyline that has been playing itself out again and again for more than 2,000 years. It began with a young man from Nazareth who came to town with some pretty new fangled ideas and asked the people to trust Him. Some did, some did not. His storyline is still playing out long after the non-trusters thought, mistakenly, they won.

This storyline plays out through you and me. We are asked to trust and believe in new fangled ideas.  We are asked to trust in what we cannot see or hear.  Scripture asks us to seek God and trust in Him, so we do. We seek His provision and protection. We seek His healing and guidance. We seek His wisdom and peace. And He provides all of that and more. 

But I have to admit that there are times when frankly, what God is providing is just not enough. Or it is just enough and not one ounce more. What I am really looking for is more than enough; I am looking for that abundance the bible talks about. Where can I get my hands on some of that?

Jesus tells me exactly where I can get it. In the parable of the 3 servants. (Matt. 25:14-30). A man went away and entrusted his servants with his money to look after while he was gone. He gave them each different amounts but each amount was very large. Each servant did something different with the money (talents) – one invested greatly and his talents grew greatly, one invested a little and his grew a little, and the third was afraid of losing his master’s money so he buried it and did nothing.

Of the servants who invested wisely the master said when he returned, “Well done, my good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.” The one who buried his talents was punished.

Trust. Turns out it’s a two way street. We are to trust God “with all our heart and all our soul” (Deut. 10:12) and He will do the same.  We are asked to trust but we are also asked for trust.  When walk with God and fully put our trust in Him, He will trust us in return. He will give us bigger and bigger blessings and responsibilities as we show we are ready for them and able to handle them. Like any good parent, our Heavenly Father wants nothing more than for us to be fully trustworthy, good and faithful children, able to receive all He has for us. And He will do all He can to make us succeed in that endeavor. 

Having trust while being trustworthy, that’s a storyline better than anything Hollywood ever dreamed up.
~

Consider. . .

Living with faith is hard,
          living without faith is impossible.

Consider Matthew 17:20.
~

Grand Canyon

It is one of the most majestic places on the earth. It overwhelms the senses to stand and try to take it in all at once. Which, at 277 miles long, 18 miles wide and a mile deep, is impossible from standing at its edge. The Grand Canyon is beautiful and inspiring. Its power is hard to ignore. Scholars cannot agree on the exact age of the Canyon, but most agree it is very old and has been around for millennia.

For all its beauty and tranquility the Grand Canyon can be a rather inhospitable place. It is found in the middle of a desert. The temperatures in the day time can soar above 100 degrees and in winter get so cold, especially along the northern rim, to snow and fall below freezing. The Canyon has been home to many people through the ages. Hardy people who made their homes amid the rock and hard scrabble of the cliffs and along its edge.

It is rather incredible to think that all it took to create the place – besides a whole lot of time – was just some wind and water. The Colorado River runs through the Canyon. And experts hold that it is the river and its streams that are mostly responsible for the Canyon's formation. The water coursing over and against the solid rock sediment cuts it like a knife changing the shape of the Canyon and revealing new levels of rock.

The wind equally has influence on the ever changing shape of the Canyon. The constant blowing of the wind through the Canyon caresses its walls and lifts sediment from its sides. That sediment then rubs against the walls farther down further influencing its shape and design. Ice, snow and storms share some of the load as well.  The Canyon was created long ago but it appears to be a canyon in the midst of its creation.

While on the one hand the Canyon is aged and ancient, it is still being formed and made into what it is to become. Perhaps you visited the Canyon when you were a child, stood on its edge, hiked its trails or rode a donkey down to the river. Go back; you will not see the same Canyon you saw. God is not finished with the Grand Canyon.

Everyday God sends wind, rain, ice, and the mighty Colorado River to work on his majestic masterpiece. Everyday He sculpts His creation into the vision of perfection He has for it. Everyday the Canyon gets a little closer to God’s perfect glory.

You and I see God’s perfect glory already when we gaze at the Canyon's stunning beauty at sunset and marvel at its many colors. We are already in awe as we float along the river and look at the walls standing protection over us that are as old as the earth and as precious as anything on it. You and I fly over the Canyon in an airplane and look down and are able to take in its true vastness and are amazed that anything could ever be grander.

God sees the Canyon and knows it is beautiful. He knows it is good. (Gen. 1:10)  But God rarely stops at good. He wants more. That is why He will never stop working on His Canyon. And that is why He will never stop working on us.

God uses the same tools on us He uses on the Canyon. He uses wind, rain storms, ice and water – Living Water (John 7:38) – to shape and carve us. Don't be put off, look at that Canyon, God can do amazing things with wind and water.  When God looks at us He knows we are beautiful and He knows we are good. But He also knows the plans He has laid out for us. Like the Grand Canyon we are a work in progress.

God didn’t stop working on His masterpiece the day He created it. He is going to keep sending the water and wind to carve, shape and reveal all the colors until it reaches His glorious perfection.

He’s going to keep working on the Grand Canyon too.
~

ENCORE: Wing Man

Because I need this today.
___________________________________

Let’s get one thing straight right here at the onset, I have a bit of an independent streak running through me. I realize we’ve talked about how we are created to live in community and I agree with that. However, at times I find that I know what’s best better than the community.

I know you do too. Don’t even sit there and try to deny it. It’s the reason we constantly find our selves in troubling situations, we, the know-it-alls of the world.

Take Maverick, for instance. His know-it-all, can-do-it-all attitude got him far but it could not get him all the way to his goal. In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise played a Navy pilot nick-named Maverick training to be a top jet-fighter pilot. He got his nick-name because of his independent attitude.

In a key scene, Maverick and his navigator, Goose, were in a simulated dog-fight with another trainee jet against two faux enemies. The pilots were trained to fly together for protection. Maverick was the wingman for the other pilot, protecting him. However, Maverick believed that the pilot had his confrontation with his enemy well in hand so Maverick left to go after the other enemy jet.

Of course, things went terribly wrong. The first pilot was “shot down” by his enemy but things went far worse for Maverick and Goose. They flew through the exhaust of another jet, stalled and had to eject. Goose was killed. Maverick could not fly for weeks.

Like jet fighter pilots, I have a wingman as I make my way through life. He is with me everyday protecting my backside. He is there giving me guidance. He is there showing me the way. He is there helping me through. And He is there showering me with love.

But like Maverick, there are many days when I ditch my wingman and fly off on my own. I feel strong and don’t need His protection. I am smart and don’t need His guidance. I am experienced I don’t need Him showing me the way. I am capable I don’t need help. I am happy I don’t need love.  I am impatient and cannot wait for His assistance. 

Greatfully, I have stumbled and fallen like Maverick and like him I am learning the error of my ways. At the end of the movie, Maverick has become a real jet-fighter pilot and finds himself in a real dog-fight with real enemies. Several times he gets nervous and cannot shoot. But then his strength comes as he asks his friend Goose to “talk” to him. As one enemy flies away Maverick's new navigator implores him to chase after it. Maverick says “No.” And he stays flying along with the other pilot.

The enemy turns around and has them in its sights. Again his navigator shouts to pull out and Maverick says “No, I’m not leaving my wingman.”

Maverick has learned the value of keeping the faith in what he has been taught and that it will keep them safe. The first enemy gets shot down then Maverick pulls off his signature breaking maneuver, turns the table on the fight and shoots down his trailing enemy. Staying with his wingman, Maverick ensured all enemies were defeated and both jets made it home safely.

It’s no easy task, staying with my Wing Man. Faith asks a lot. My independent streak is strong. The harder things are and the darker the night the stronger the pull is to strike out on my own. To say, “God, must have forgotten about me. He obviously doesn’t care about me anymore. So, it’s all up to me now.” That is exactly when I must fight the hardest to stay with Him. I must do what Maverick did and ask my Wing Man to talk to me and give me strength to hold tight. You see, even when I’m grounded and cannot fly, my Man’s got the wings to help me soar.

Come hell or high water, I’m not leaving my Wing Man.
~

Voice Lessons

“Inspirational,” . . . “like a choir of angels,” . . . “a true instrument,” . . . “bravo!”. . . “it brought me to tears,” . . . these are words people never – ever – say to me when I sing. How I have longed to have a voice like Julie Andrews, or Diana Krall, or even Cher. But alas, when I raise my voice in song it lands with a dull thud. I have been told by those who know such things that I might be tone-deaf. Meaning I can’t hear or reach the notes and tones necessary to sound like anything other than a barn owl.

Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t stop me from singing. I just make sure my audience is small, me, and the venue comfortable and safe, my car and/or shower.

Perhaps because I can’t sing I find being in the presence of someone who can a true joy. My sister-in-law is not a professional singer but she can at any moment break into song and it sounds like heaven. No musical instruments or back-up singers required. She is constantly singing to my new nephew. He will be a bit sad and she out of nowhere begins to sing him a lullaby, and one she made up at that. He will quiet almost immediately. The smile it brings across his face when he hears his mother sing lights up the world.

Ahh, to be able to do that will remain but a dream for me. Although I have accepted my fate and know my singing will never light up a room, at least not in a good way, and that I will never go on a concert tour, that doesn’t mean I will remain silent. I cannot sing but I do have a voice.

The past few years have been a difficult journey for me. I lost my voice. Actually, I lost my job but in today’s world they are the same thing. Or so it would seem.

It turns out that my job is not the same thing as my voice. I am not what I do for a living, not even close. But when I lost the job, my voice – and heart – seemed to pack up and head for the hills. It was as if the world told me that without my job I had nothing to say that it wanted to hear. That my contributions were not valuable. That is a lie and one I no longer accept.

I have a voice and God wants to hear it.

God has given each one of us a voice. A voice that is true, unique and distinctly our own. No two voices are the same. That is why it is so important that we use our voices, because we are each a part of the puzzle. When one of us doesn’t use our voice then the whole symphony is off just a bit. Like Beethoven’s Fifth without the violins. So when we lose it, it is important that we get it back.

We find our voice by finding our heart. We find our heart by discovering what makes it sing. Perhaps your heart is in gardening, or in educating our next generation. Perhaps your heart sings when look through the lens of a camera or argue a case in court. Maybe your heart soars when you help heal the sick or give your time to the less fortunate. There are those whose heart beats a little faster when crunching numbers and building spreadsheets. Still others become truly alive when serving others, either from behind a bar or in the military. Spending time raising your children may get all your cylinders going. Or maybe you are never more awake than when walking on the beach.

Our job and our heart are not the same thing. It is a blessing when they overlap, but most often they do not. Whatever it is that makes our hearts come alive, it is vital for us to find it. It is from where our voice and strength comes. It is the expression of our purpose. But life has a way of stealing those things that matter and camouflaging our purpose. So it’s a good thing we don’t have to find our voices on our own.

Scripture tells us that Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and fix our wounds. (Ps. 147:3, Is. 61) Jesus came not just to save us and get us to heaven, but to restore us. (Ps. 23:3). To restore something is to put it back like it formerly was. God wants our hearts restored to how they were when he conceived of us and created us. I can’t even imagine what that really looks or feels like. If you are like me, your heart is wounded and far from being the heart it should be. Some heavy restoration is needed. But that is exactly what Jesus came to do.

And He will, if we let Him. All we have to do is ask, and our restoration and voice lessons will begin.

Finding and regaining our voice can be a daunting task if it were left up to us. But thank Heaven its not. We have a voice coach who is with us every step of the way, fine tuning us, restoring us until our instrument is as perfect as the day it was made.

I cannot sing, but I do have a voice. And when it is fully tuned, watch out, I just might go on tour.
~

Separation Anxiety

I love and adore dogs. Cute, soft, cuddly, playful, happy. Dogs are ready for action at any moment. Is there anything sweeter than a dog curled up and relaxed taking a nap? They love with such uncondition and loyalty that it puts people to shame by comparison.

I have been blessed to have been owned by several amazing dogs during the course of my life. And I say owned by them because, well its true. They – Rusty, Princess, Taska, Roughie, Poochie, Fawn, Patches, Lucy, and currently Gracie – have ruled the house, and my heart.

They each shaped and trained me, and really my heart, into the person I am today. And for all their unique virtues and strengths there has been one common characteristic in these dogs that surprises me. They don’t like being left alone.

Take Gracie for example. She is a border-collie mix of some sort. I rescued her from the pound, or rather we rescued each other. She is much smarter than I ever will be and can out run just about anything. She stares at me constantly, as if studying me for any sudden moves. She is protective and loyal. And she pouts when I leave.

If I am nearby, she feels safe and secure, confident and bold. But when I am far away and out of sight she gets anxious, agitated and loses her peace. She will pace, stare out the window searching for me. Eventually, she will tire and nap, but she is most content when she is right next to me.

I found this to be true of many of the dogs I have lived with through my life. Most of the dogs, but not all, were rescues. Perhaps separation anxiety is a common trait among rescuees. Having been lost and orphaned and then being rescued and loved, there is a bit of fear they may once more find themselves lost and alone.

I know how they feel. It’s a scary world out there and I get agitated and lose my peace too. Some days I feel so confident and secure; I feel like I could conquer the world. But some days I feel the exact opposite; I feel weak and puny, I am full of anxiety and fear. Most days I have a combination – some moments I’m confident and the next I’m not. There are days when the last thing I possess is peace. What I don’t understand is why?

Like many of my furry companions, we too have been rescued. Scripture tells us that Jesus came to rescue us. (Luke 1:74) He rescues us and protects us from our enemies. And I believe that when I am feeling close to God, bathing in His nurturing light and love, I have all the confidence I need. But when I am far from Him, when I don’t feel His close presence that’s when I begin to unravel and feel like an orphan, lost and alone.

Feelings are funny and fickle things. And they lie to us alot. Gracie feels like I may never come back because she can’t see me. But her feeling is wrong. There is no need for her to worry. She can trust me; she can trust that I will return and take care of her.

During the four years I have had Gracie, our relationship is stronger, and the trust bond is too. She understands, to a greater degree, that she can trust what she cannot see, and her peace does not leave her when I do. That I am here to love and take care of her.

Like Gracie, my feelings of weakness and lack of confidence because I cannot sense God, is a lie. It is a lie told to me by my enemy to get me out of peace and off my game. God is never far from me. As my bond with God strengthens, the more I understand this. I can trust what I cannot see and I don’t have to lose my peace just because God is out of sight. He is here with me always loving and taking care of me.

Perhaps you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but thankfully a new dog can teach an old gal a little something.
~