“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
(Mark 11:25-26)
Never underestimate the power of the words “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”
~
It is said that life is a journey. Well, if that’s true then it is one big car trip because there is just no way to fly to our destination. If we want to get where we are going we are going to have to drive. The road is long and the miles add up. There are certainly lots of days when the drive is hard and lonely. It sure would be nice to get a little Howdy from time to time to encourage us along the way.
Texas knows something about long journeys. We are a big state and have lots of long runs of road where you are likely to pass nothing more than a tumble weed for hours. As you travel the Texas highways one thing will come into sharp focus as you drive along. The cars and trucks that you pass engage in a little ritual, a little greeting. Drivers in Texas greet the people they meet along the way. Its a little ritual called the Texas two-finger wave. It’s a little Texas Howdy. Two fingers raised above the steering wheel just as you pass each other.
I love this ritual. I feel a kinship with my fellow road warriors. We may never meet but for a brief second we have made a connection, we are not alone. The two-finger wave says a lot for a little gesture. It says “Hi, nice to see you. Glad you’re here.” One little Howdy from a passerby and I don’t feel so on my own out there. I don’t know who started it or how it began, but Texans have been welcoming each other this way for as long as I’ve been alive.
The Texas two-finger wave doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter what you drive, what state your license plate announces you hail from or which direction you are headed. If you are on Texas highways and byways you will be welcomed with a little Texas Howdy.
The Texas two-finger wave is a strong comfort as we travel on our journey. “Hi, nice to see you, I’m glad you’re here.” – its unspoken greeting looks simple and unassuming but it packs a mighty big message.
On second thought, I think I do know Who started it.
~
A coach once said “winners never quit and quitters never win.” That is as wise a statement as you’re likely to find. I am here to report I have been a non-winner many times in my life.
I have quit on things more than I like to admit. I’ve gotten so well practiced and good at quitting that sometimes I quit before I ever start. I always have good reasons though - I don’t have enough time, it’s taking too long, I don’t want to, I don’t know how, I’ll do it when ... [fill in the blank with a million excuses] - which is really a way of quitting without admitting it. And my favorite: I’m too tired.
Do you see a recurring theme in my very real but very weak reasons for quitting? Its there, right behind the tiredness – fear. Fear is the reason I most often quit. I can wrap it up in any number of ways I want to but when I rinse all the posturing away, fear is what is propping me up. And stopping me from finishing what I started.
You can call it a fear of success, I’ve heard that term used, although I don’t actually know what it means. I’ve heard it called a fear of failure. That term I understand; who wants to fail? Nobody looks or feels good when they fail.
There are days when the pull to quit are so strong it has thrown me into a panic. I have had physical reactions due to my desire to quit something. Now there are times when quitting is a must and that anxiety I feel is a signal to get out while I can. But most often it’s just me not wanting to live up to my commitments.
Right now I want to quit on something so badly I can feel it. I strongly dislike what I do for a living. I am good and effective at what I do. The people I work with are great. I love having a job and a paycheck. I have done what I do for a long time and I used to love it – now I don't find it fulfilling. So why don’t I quit? Good question.
Jesus wanted to quit – big time. When I think of Jesus I don’t think of a quitter, and he wasn’t, but He sure gave it some strong consideration. And being in His shoes who wouldn’t?
Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane the night the soldiers came to arrest Him. He went there because he was “deeply troubled and distressed” and wanted to pray. Jesus knew His fate and the cross that was in His future. We are told that three times He asked God to “take this cup away from me.” (Matt. 26:36-44, Mark 14:32-39). His desire to quit was so strong He sweated “great drops of blood.” (Luke 22:44). I don’t know if fear is what Jesus was feeling but whatever He was going through He really really wanted to quit at that moment.
Jesus wasn’t a quitter. Jesus was a finisher. In the same breath that Jesus asked His Father to stop what was about to happen, He also said “nevertheless, let Your will be done.” (Matt. 26:39, Mark 14:36). We know the rest of the story, Jesus did see His task to its completion and He said those glorious words – It is finished. (John 19:30).
I want to finish my business. I want to see this task to its completion. I won’t be at this job forever; I know it’s just a stop along the way. I will move on when the time is right and I want to hold on until then. And when the time is right I can say those glorious words, It is finished.
Whatever it is I am facing, it will never be as bad or as scary as what Jesus faced - and finished. If I give into the fear that stands in my path I will never finish anything. Whatever label I put on my fear - weariness, I don’t want to, lack of know-how, lack of time - it’s still the same old quit at the end. I want to turn my quitting into non-quitting and my non-winning into winning.
I think that might make that old coach proud.
~
Ever have one of those days? One of those days when everything and everyone around you is going haywire? When everyone has lost their mind and they are making you lose yours? Days when, quite frankly, everyone you encounter is playing the part of the fool?
It begins by retrieving your newspaper out from under the bushes because the paperboy missed the driveway, again. Then the guy at the coffee shop didn’t put the lid on the coffee tightly and it spilled on you during your drive to work. Speaking of the drive, is it you or is everyone driving like a crazy person today cutting you off and stopping suddenly?
Work offers no safe haven, your computer keeps crashing. Despite what he says are his best efforts the IT guy can’t figure out the problem. Your lunch order is completely wrong and now you’re late for your meeting. Given the morning you’ve had, you have no optimism for this meeting going well, and it doesn’t. No one is prepared and no one agrees on anything; a second meeting will be now required.
You leave work early to meet the A/C repairman, who promises to be there between 2 and 5. At 7 you’ve given up all hope. The day has just about worn you completely down and all you want is a little peace when your teenage neighbor suddenly fires up his garage band for a little practice. As you sink lower into your couch turning up the TV volume with the remote control, one recurring thought keeps running through your mind – Where did all these fools come from and why am I a magnet for them??
Its days like this when you look Heavenward for a little guidance. So you do a mental check of God's handy dandy List of helpful tips to live by and realize you’re not even safe there. #3 was violated early on in the process (thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain), while you didn’t technically break #6, you really really wanted to several times (thou shalt not commit murder) and #10 is in serious trouble (thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house) because while you don’t covet at this moment you do want to take control of it and shut off the racket emitting from its garage, which also may lead to breaking #6.
The 10 commandments really are of no use to you here. There is not a one of them that you could have said to one of the people during your day to help them, and you, out. What you need is an 11th commandment. Something easy to understand. Something that can be easily taught to others when they need a quick education. Something short, simple and to the point. One you could use all day long to espouse wisdom and at the same time vent your frustration. Sort of a dual purpose commandment.
Scripture tells you that God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and He uses things that are weak to confound the mighty. (1 Cor. 1:27) This is good news – you’re completely confounded so you must be wise and mighty. You’re getting close to #11 but it still does not stop the fools from fouling up your day. Then you realize that perhaps #11 already exists.
The Ephesians were having trouble with fools themselves. They didn’t know what to do. Paul wrote to them and told them not to take up with them, don’t get sucked with the fools. He told them to make sure they “walk carefully in all situations not as fools but as wise.” (Eph. 5:15).
So there it is in black and white - #11 – Thou shalt not be a fool.
You feel so much better. This is going to come in very handy. You’re thinking about printing it on easy to hand out business cards and bumper stickers. You get up to go to bed, so pleased with your new found weapon against the fools of the world, and you put your foot into your half-eaten bowl of ice cream you placed on the floor next to the couch. You can only smile and shake your head. Yes, #11 is going to come in very handy indeed.
Let the confounding begin.
~
Life is full of extraordinary circumstances. As we move through it we encounter chance happenings and unexpected moments that forever change our lives. We try to control the outrageous unknowns we experience by choosing the people in our lives. Its one of the few things we truly have control over.
But the people we choose can be a grab-bag of sorts. Some will fit and some will not. Some will become influential and some will have no effect whatsoever, passing through our lives like mist in the wind. It is probably the people we cannot choose that matter most. It is the people that were chosen for us that have the biggest effect. It is the people chosen for us, the ones who start early in our lives who shape us most. It is these people we call family.
There are days when family is great and there are days when family is the worst thing that has ever happened. But there is something about this hand-picked group of people that draws us in and motivates us to keep us going.
Even when they’re dysfunctional they are the best thing going. My family can be infuriating. My family can be generous. My family can be unapproving. My family can be forgiving. My family can be indifferent. My family can be deeply loving. My family has made me laugh, made me cry, made me storm out in anger, made me jump for joy. I am who I am because of my family. I am a part of my family and they are a part of me.
I had no choice about the matter. God put me into the family He did for the reasons He did - and one day He will explain those reasons to me. And I will thank Him profoundly.
I am a firm believer that there are no coincidences in this world. God has a plan. And part of His plan for me was to put me into a family full of wonderful women. Wonderfully diverse women. I have put a picture of some of these women below (there are wonderful men in the family too – they were just too busy watching football). It is a picture taken some time ago. I know it was taken ages ago because I’m still a small girl being held in her mother’s arms.
This is some of the family who shapes my life. Four of the women are no longer here. One of them, my aunt in the white dress, died prematurely just yesterday. She was a vibrant and gregarious woman. She had a wonderful laugh. She was my mother’s older sister; they were close and got into lots of trouble together. She will be deeply missed. But she will remain on in those she touched and who love her. And that’s a wonderful thing about family – once you are part of it, you never really leave it.
I am not discounting the fact that there are people we choose who become our family too. God had a hand in selecting those people for us also. They are a vitally and richly important part of our lives. But it is those in whose histories we share for generations that help steer the course and color the world in which we grow up and live.
One thing about family is we completely take it for granted most of the time. But when “the chips are down” its family who sustains us. Its family who shapes us with its collective wisdom. Its family who protects us with its strength in numbers. Its family who loves us with its heart so big God could not fit it into just one person.
The women in this picture are my part of my foundation and my future. They are my family and the well from which I draw strength. I don’t know why God chose me for their tribe, I’m just thankful He did.
Family. God’s extraordinary way of showing he loves you.
The beginning of the journey is generally an exuberant time. There is the anticipation of what lies ahead, the expectation that goals will be met and dreams will come true. We are full of energy and determination. Nothing can stop us now.
Then reality sets in. The road along the journey is longer than anticipated. It is steeper and harder than it first appeared from the safety of our living room. We find ourselves lost in a detour we didn’t expect and come upon hostile situations. It is enough to make us want to quit and give up mid-trip.
Journeys are long and tiring. That’s why its good to take a few friends along for company.
Dorothy learned this early in her journey. At the outset there was high anticipation and excitement for her journey ahead. There was singing and dancing. Heck, the whole town showed up to wave goodbye and wish her luck. But not too far down the road she encountered her first problem – a fork in the road.
Her instructions were simple enough – follow the yellow brick road. But now the yellow brick road split in to two parts. Which way was she to choose? That’s when her first friend joined her on her journey. Scarecrow wasn’t much help, he didn’t know which way was the right way but he would do his best. So after collecting themselves, they were off singing and skipping.
The journey was interrupted again, this time by a grove of hooligan apple trees. Hungry, and what journey doesn’t make us hungry, Dorothy and Scarecrow just wanted an apple or two to eat. But the local trees didn’t take too kindly to that and threw the apples at them. That’s when companion two joined the team – Tin Man. He wasn’t afraid of the trees, he chopped them down.
Tin Man wasn’t much help, being rusted and everything, but his heart was in the right place. So off they all went, still skipping and singing with great anticipation. Until the road got dangerous again.
Our friends encountered near death at the hands of a dangerous beast – at least that’s the way Cowardly Lion tells it. Dorothy and company were walking through his territory and he was going to protect it. He wasn’t much of a protector as it turns out. But he was good at joining the journey.
Our friends had had quite a time along the road. They were really beginning to wonder whether they’d ever reach their destination. And just at that moment when each wanted to turn back their destination was in sight. Only problem was by this point in the trip Dorothy didn’t have enough energy to get there. She wanted to lie down in the beautiful flowers and nap first.
Laying down on the journey, it’s a strong temptation – it’s a bad idea. If she kept laying there she would never each her destination. Luckily for Dorothy she had another companion on her journey watching over her and she made it snow, waking Dorothy up and setting her back on the right path.
Dorothy encountered several more terrifying twists and turns along her journey but she ultimately did reach her final destination. She did not do it, however, without her traveling companions. Each time there was a new set back Dorothy was not alone. One of her companions would step up and help her through.
The end of a journey isn’t always the great fanfare we experience at the beginning. Most of the time we arrive at our destination, if we arrive at all, tried, worn out and bedraggled. There is not much skipping and singing at that point. We are just happy to have survived.
But we can have the singing and fanfare. Dorothy did. There was just as much celebration at the end of her journey as there was at the beginning. She didn’t look like someone who had battled a long winding road, angry trees, flying monkeys and been held captive by an evil sorceress. She looked like someone who conquered her journey instead of the other way around.
I want to travel like Dorothy. The road to anything worthwhile is never straight and smooth. We were never meant to walk that road alone.
I’m going to encounter my own long road, angry trees and flying monkeys. I hope to avoid capture by the evil sorceress as much as possible. The temptation to give up will be strong at times. But in the event that happens I know my Traveling Companion is right there with me protecting me, guiding me with knowledge and giving me his heart to see my journey to its end.
You’ll recognize me on the journey – I’m the one singing and skipping.
~
“Tag, you’re it!” That is the point of Blind Man’s Bluff, a children’s game I spent hours playing with the kids in the neighborhood growing up. One of us was wearing a blindfold chasing the others in a game of tag while the others shouted things bluffing about their location. A sort of Marco-Polo on dry land.
Being “it” was terrible. You had to wear the blindfold and fumble around with arms outstretched groping for people. You felt completely foolish. People could sneak up on you and poke you or say “not it” right in your ear and run away before you had time to whirl around and tag them. Unless you had goods ears, quick hands and the tracking abilities of an Indian, you could be “it” for a long time. Being the “it-girl” in Hollywood is good, being the “it-girl” in tag is bad.
I am so glad I no longer have to play that stupid game. Which is why I do not understand why I continue to play it.
It seems as if I find myself wearing that darn blindfold every few days or so. I try not to play but I get lured into a game. It usually starts with the bluffs. I hear whispered in my ear things like – you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, it will never work, your dreams will never come true, you’ll be alone forever, it’s all your fault, things will never change. As soon as I hear those whispers that blindfold is on and I am playing the game.
A game I do not want to and should not be playing.
The enemy loves it when I listen to his bluffs and accept his invitation to play. He knows that as long as I chase him with my blindfold on he can shout lies in my ear all day long and I will never catch him and I will remain “it.”
The thing about the bluffs the enemy whispers in my ear is that is exactly what they are – bluffs. Not a thing I hear in my head is true. I am good enough, I am smart enough, it is working, my dreams are coming true, I am not alone, it is not my fault, things are changing. What I have to do is call the enemy on his bluffs.
When you call someone on their bluffs they generally fold like a house of cards. He tried to bluff Jesus. Three times the enemy tried to convince Jesus He was not the Son of God and three times Jesus refused to take the bait and put on the blindfold. Jesus called him on his bluffs. Each time Jesus referred to His Father, to the truth, and each time the enemy backed down and eventually gave up altogether. (Matt. 4:1-11).
When I hear that old familiar whisper begin in my ear instead of reaching for my blindfold I need to do the same thing and call the thief on his lies. This game of blind man’s bluff isn’t just a game of tag, this game has me as its prize. At stake are my peace and joy and future. And I don’t put those at risk for anybody, I don’t care how sweet your lies are.
So I am retiring from blind man’s bluff. Next time I find myself being the “it-girl” it will be without the blindfold. Hollywood may never be the same.
~
“For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all you ways.
They shall bear you up in their hands,
Lest you dash your foot upon a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.”
Psalm 91:11-13
As we think about the new week ahead, with all its opportunities and challenges, let’s remember we will not walk the road alone.
~
The other evening I was out with a friend of mine having a very pleasant time. We were sitting outside at a little bistro during what was one of the few wonderful Autumn days in Houston. Our pleasant time was interrupted when we heard the distinct sound of a rock being thrown against a car window.
Immediately the entire group of patio patrons stood, looked over the hedge toward the direction of the noise and from the safety of the patio began to yell at the would-be thieves. Just then two waiters came running out of the restaurant and started off down the street. By the time they got to the scene of the crime the perpetrators had driven off. Luckily, without any loot or finishing what they had started – although the front windshield was now a mess.
What impressed me about the action by the waiters was that they darted off without knowing anything about what they were getting into. They both had total disregard for the possibilities for danger. They did not know if the car-jackers had weapons, how many there may be or even whose car it was – it was on a public street, not in the parking lot. None of that seemed to matter, there was trouble and they were going to stop it.
There is an expression that people use when help is on the way “the cavalry is coming.” I like that expression. When it is used you just know everything is going to be alright. That’s what I thought when I saw those waiters run off, hang on, the cavalry is coming!
Cavalries have been used for protection and combat for centuries. A cavalry is defined primarily as a force that fights from horseback. Cavalries have always been the superior fighting force of any army. The position of fighting from horseback has many advantages; it helps multiply even the smallest fighting unit, it allows armies to outflank their enemy, it makes them faster and more mobile, they can surprise, avoid and outmaneuver, or retreat quickly. Fighting on horseback is also said to have a psychological advantage over a man fighting on foot. Bigger, stronger, faster – the cavalry is who I want in my corner whenever I get into trouble.
Today, army cavalries are largely ceremonial. Fighting on an actual horseback doesn’t have the advantage it once did when armies are up against a tank or IED. We don’t find ourselves in too much hand to hand combat anymore and that is where a cavalry’s true advantage comes in.
While armies don’t fight hand to hand much anymore I do. I seem to find myself in some sort of hand to hand combat almost daily. Yesterday I was in a big hand to hand battle with frustration. After a long day I got totally lost driving through an unfamiliar city. Even my GPS system told me it didn’t have enough data to figure out where I was and “re-calculate” my route. When you get so lost, your GPS is lost – you’re lost. Very frustrating and really easy to lose my cool and temper. I could have used a cavalryman to rescue me – literally and figuratively.
If I rode with a cavalryman everyday then I would be fighting my daily hand to hand combat from a position of greater strength. I would be taller than my enemy. I would be faster, more easily able to maneuver and outflank, surprise and overpower. And I would have a psychological advantage over my enemy as well. I would feel so safe and secure.
With a cavalryman at my side everyday my battles would be won before they ever began.
I was talking to God about this, as I was trying to find my way out of the piney woods town I was lost in, and asked Him if He might know of a good cavalryman for me. He said He did. He said I did too. He is the Cavalryman who already rescued me when He died for me on Mount Calvary.
Turns out the cavalry isn’t coming, it’s already here. I’ve just been spelling it wrong.
~
Dear God,
I accept this day just as it is. You are the Lord over my life. I rejoice in this day that you have made, trusting that You are present with me. I will not regret or resent the way things are. I thank You for all things, the good, the bad, the great. I trust You and will not let fear be my guide.
I love you,
Me
~
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