Friday, October 15, 2010

Rockfest Day 15 - Unfinished Business

A coach once said “winners never quit and quitters never win.” That is as wise a statement as you’re likely to find. I am here to report I have been a non-winner many times in my life.

I have quit on things more than I like to admit. I’ve gotten so well practiced and good at quitting that sometimes I quit before I ever start. I always have good reasons though - I don’t have enough time, it’s taking too long, I don’t want to, I don’t know how, I’ll do it when ... [fill in the blank with a million excuses] - which is really a way of quitting without admitting it. And my favorite: I’m too tired.

Do you see a recurring theme in my very real but very weak reasons for quitting? Its there, right behind the tiredness – fear. Fear is the reason I most often quit. I can wrap it up in any number of ways I want to but when I rinse all the posturing away, fear is what is propping me up. And stopping me from finishing what I started.

You can call it a fear of success, I’ve heard that term used, although I don’t actually know what it means. I’ve heard it called a fear of failure. That term I understand; who wants to fail? Nobody looks or feels good when they fail.

There are days when the pull to quit are so strong it has thrown me into a panic. I have had physical reactions due to my desire to quit something. Now there are times when quitting is a must and that anxiety I feel is a signal to get out while I can. But most often it’s just me not wanting to live up to my commitments.

Right now I want to quit on something so badly I can feel it. I strongly dislike what I do for a living. I am good and effective at what I do. The people I work with are great. I love having a job and a paycheck. I have done what I do for a long time and I used to love it – now I don't find it fulfilling. So why don’t I quit? Good question.

Jesus wanted to quit – big time. When I think of Jesus I don’t think of a quitter, and he wasn’t, but He sure gave it some strong consideration. And being in His shoes who wouldn’t?

Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane the night the soldiers came to arrest Him. He went there because he was “deeply troubled and distressed” and wanted to pray. Jesus knew His fate and the cross that was in His future. We are told that three times He asked God to “take this cup away from me.” (Matt. 26:36-44, Mark 14:32-39). His desire to quit was so strong He sweated “great drops of blood.” (Luke 22:44). I don’t know if fear is what Jesus was feeling but whatever He was going through He really really wanted to quit at that moment.

Jesus wasn’t a quitter. Jesus was a finisher. In the same breath that Jesus asked His Father to stop what was about to happen, He also said “nevertheless, let Your will be done.” (Matt. 26:39, Mark 14:36). We know the rest of the story, Jesus did see His task to its completion and He said those glorious words – It is finished. (John 19:30).

I want to finish my business. I want to see this task to its completion. I won’t be at this job forever; I know it’s just a stop along the way. I will move on when the time is right and I want to hold on until then. And when the time is right I can say those glorious words, It is finished.

Whatever it is I am facing, it will never be as bad or as scary as what Jesus faced - and finished.  If I give into the fear that stands in my path I will never finish anything. Whatever label I put on my fear - weariness, I don’t want to, lack of know-how, lack of time - it’s still the same old quit at the end. I want to turn my quitting into non-quitting and my non-winning into winning.

I think that might make that old coach proud.

~

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